Sweaty Nights

An episode of night sweats scared me into going to an AA meeting. At 40 years old, I was ignorant of the symptoms of perimenopause. In my earlier drinking days, sweaty nights meant one-night-stands and partying in fields during those hot Midwestern summers.

The first time it happened, I’d had about a fifth of vodka to ignite the flame and I thought my liver had finally given up. Can’t filter out the toxins anymore, sweetie. You’re on your own. Although it frigtened me enough to seriously consider saying goodbye to alcohol, I drank for two months after that episode. It didn’t take much to turn on the faucet. A couple of glasses of wine would do it. I started talking about this to my extended family. My sister-in-law ensured me that I was not an alcoholic, that my liver was not shutting down, and that I was simply going through perimenopause. She’d just seen a doctor on Oprah who wrote a whole book on this mystery topic. As if PMS and menopause aren’t enough, we need a bridge from one hormonal nightmare to the next. Perimenopause or premenopause can begin up to 10 years before you actually stop menstrating. With high hopes that I would not have to give up my beloved alcohol afterall, I went to my local library and found this book from Oprah. “The Wisdom of Menopause,” by Dr. Christaine Northrup.

Great book for anyone experiencing perimenopause. I discovered that our bodies will tolerate an awful lot until we reach this stage, but once we do, it takes the wheel. If you are doing something that is not in the best interest of your body, mind, and/or spirit, you will have “symptoms” as a warning. Symptoms include night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, headaches, weight gain, scattered thinking, memory loss, and hot flashes (others too, but these are mine).  And if you don’t heed the warning signs, eventually you will get terrible diseases and probably die. Great. So let me get this straight. Drinking alcohol is giving me night sweats and waking me up, which is my body’s way of saying that I need to stop drinking alcohol, or my body will put me out of my misery.

I hated those health books that told you to stop drinking because I didn’t think it was possible. They may as well have told me to stop breathing or peeing. Alcohol was part of who I was. I needed it and it needed me. Fortunately, my love for my daughter was slightly stronger than my love for vodka. I’d wanted a child for years and when I finally had her at age 36, I couldn’t be happier. To leave her without a mother and to miss out on what is the greatest joy of my life because of alcohol just was not an option. I didn’t know where to start. So I went to an AA meeting.